It’s no secret we all omit some of the grittier and less pleasant details of ourselves. Nobody wants to let it be known on a first date about their flossing rituals or what exactly their browser history looked like last night before he erased it, of course.
Societally speaking, men are not believed to be the most emotional beings. Man is a statue, solid in form and relatively expressionless. Because of this societal presumption, men tend to embarrass easily when we stray from prospective “roles,” and the fact of the matter is, we shouldn’t. In reading this piece, you will see that I use the words “supposed to” quite a bit. These are the words I’m using to address — and speak out against — society’s guidelines concerning gender norms, because they’re bullsh*t. Pardon my cursing.
These global norms are incredibly dated and in no way represent culture today. While these guidelines do affect females as well, I am a man, and therefore wouldn’t be the correct person to address that side of things. So I won’t. Below, I’m going to give you a little bit of male insight by addressing eight things that men are embarrassed to admit to you, but shouldn’t be.
1. They consume girly drinks
Although few guys will admit it, there are certain times when an ice cold beer or a smooth glass of scotch simply won’t satisfy. That’s why they are increasingly wetting their whistles with festive girly drinks like lime margaritas, wine coolers and apple puckers. Sure these drinks might not be very manly, but you’ll never get a fun little paper umbrella if you keep on ordering Coors.
2. They don’t want to have sex
As detailed by nearly every male character portrayed in movies and television (but this has just recently begun to change, thankfully), not every man wants sex every time it’s available to him. I myself probably turn down sex more than my own partner, who’s absolutely gorgeous.
Why? For the same reasons she does! I’m tired, I’m not feeling sexy, I’m lazy, I’d rather do something else, you name it! This could even be the result of low testosterone, an even bigger issue. So instead of separating ourselves by traditional gender roles, we should instead address people as just that, people. We really aren’t all that different, you know.
3. They are in love
A guy admitting he’s in love is viewed as a sign of weakness. Not by you, but by guys in general. It shows that he’s let his guard down and he cares about something — it’s good news! But men tend to see this as a sign that he’s “going soft.”
In turn, we’d rather wait for you to say those three special words first so we don’t seem “weak” or give the impression that we love you more than you love us (because women are the emotional and nurturing ones, according to norms). Yes, it’s childish but that’s the way this archetypal cookie crumbles.
4. They check other guys out
Not in a sexual way, a man will check another man out on occasion. He will never admit to this, though. The most you will get from him is that he can admit a certain actor is “a good-looking guy” as he shrugs.
His reasons for said checking could be anything. It could be that he’s enviously judging his own looks against the Adonis across the room, or that, like women do with other women, he is merely appreciating a person’s good looks from afar.
5. They flip through women’s magazines
No one ever wants to get caught reading an article entitled “7 Ways To Make Him Ache For You.” Nonetheless, we all peruse magazines like Cosmo and Marie Claire from time to time. After all, these pithy little publications offer us an intimate perspective into the female psyche. They teach us what women want, they instruct us on what women are thinking and, best of all, each issue contains more cleavage than the Grand Canyon. More than just glossy periodicals, they’re like psychology textbooks with boobies.
6. They display brand loyalty
Although most men scoff at the notion of brand loyalty, their closets often reveal a different sentiment altogether. Hit the links, for instance, and you’ll find many men are plastered with so many Nike swooshes that they look as though they’ve signed a multimillion dollar endorsement deal. In the end, men are attracted to certain brands for the same reason they’re attracted to the idea of love at first sight: It saves time.
7. They cuddle and use pet names
Get a guy behind closed doors with his partner and he’ll resort to an endless string of “darlings,” “pumpkins” and “cupcakes” faster than you can say “Gag me with a spoon.” In fact, some men use these pet names so much they end up sounding like a romantic form of Tourette Syndrome.
And where there are pet names, cuddling can’t be far behind. Luckily, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. A recent survey conducted by the Berman Center for Women’s Health in Chicago found that couples who cuddle have a closer emotional connection and are more stress-free. Sure, a good hug might not be as exciting as having sex with Norwegian twins on a trapeze, but if it helps you live longer, it can’t be all that bad.
8. They kind of (really) like your TV shows
At first glance, “The Real Housewives of [insert city here]” looks idiotic. The show at its core depicts rich women throwing drinks and insults at each other while throwing fundraisers (just lots of throwing). Women happily admit to indulging in said programming, but guys are much less likely to do so because this show is primarily intended for female audiences.
An admission to watching said programming metaphorically revokes his “man card,” so he won’t do it and will instead complain whenever you throw it on the tube. But if we really hated it as much as we claim, we’d do something else. By this I mean if we stay and watch the show, we probably like it.