You don’t need anyone to tell you how important it is to read between the lines and pick up on all those subtle signs that say the person you’re with is a good guy. But, how do you really know he’s a keeper? Should you take things with him to the next level? Maybe even to marriage? We spend a lot of time talking about how to recognize a toxic person or a toxic relationship, but I think we also need to know what the right relationships look like, for more than one reason.
Firstly, I think we have to know what we are looking for so we recognize it when we do have it. And secondly I think we need to have an image in our minds of what a healthy relationship looks like so we know how to work towards it and create it alongside our teammate.
To help and for the clarification, I have put together this list of how a good man should act while in a relationship.
1. He Asks The Questions, Never Just Answers Them
A decent person needs to become acquainted with every one of you, not only within you. He doesn’t ask created questions, ones that he knows will make them feeling comfortable enough to sleep with him, but those questions that are generated from genuine discussion.
He tests and contemplates, cross examines and requests more. Also, obviously, the sign you have a better than average person is the point at which he recollects your answers two dates later.
2. He Accept Your Flaws
Nobody is perfect. But if we are always trying to convince someone that we are, we will never be truly comfortable with them and they will never really get to know our true selves. In the right relationship, we are open about these things with each other and the best part is – they will still love and accept you for it.
3. He Asks About Your Family and Doesn’t Hide His
Men scare as easily as women. They are quick to jump ship and have many idiosyncrasies that come with the dating territory. The first mention of family, relationship or monogamy has the potential to send him back through all those doors he just opened for you.
A good guy, however, doesn’t shake so easily. A good guy wants to be with you, he wants to know your flaws and your family. Most importantly, he doesn’t hide important parts of his life from you.
4. He Always Shows How Much He Loves You
I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had with people who tell me that there is no affection in their relationship. The man in their life does not make them feel loved, wanted or appreciated. This is a profoundly important piece of the puzzle — a good man will always remind you how much you mean to him.
5. He Always Supports You
Regardless of whether you want to go back to school after 20 years to get your Master’s degree, start a singing career or stay at home to raise a family, a good man will always support you and what you want out of your life. He will never discourage you or make you feel as though you can’t do what you set out to do. He will be beside you every step of the way, cheering on your victories and comforting you during your defeats.
6. He admits he’s wrong when he’s wrong.
It’s not in him to shift blame or try to maneuver out of a situation when he knows he’s clearly on the wrong. He simply admits when he’s wrong, apologies when the situation calls for it and tries to make amends. He knows to err is human and mistakes are learning opportunities that help you do things in a better way next time. There’s no shame in that.
7. He surprises you with sweet words or acts of love often.
Although he’s always loving and kind to you, sometimes he does things that take you by surprise and leave you muttering, “Awww! That is so sweet, honey.” He might tell you, out of the blue, you are the most beautiful woman on the planet on a day that you didn’t even put on your makeup or make you breakfast-in-bed. Those seemingly little, unexpected acts of love tell you he truly cares and wants to make you happy.
8. He Doesn’t Ignore Your Aches and Pains
A good guy doesn’t try to get out of a fight with simple tricks and wordplay. He knows fine doesn’t mean fine, even if it’s easier to believe , but picks up on the small signs and coverups and knows that something isn’t right. He knows that fine doesn’t mean fine and will always try and see through your sometimes horrible displays of “being okay.”
9. He Works To Gain Your Trust
A good man will want you to be comfortable and confident in your relationship. The very cornerstone of this is being able to trust someone, and he will realize that. Without trust, there is no foundation for love or respect.
He will understand that trust is not just handed over to someone — it has to be earned, and then it has to be kept.
10. He Doesn’t Make Himself Your Whole World, Just Makes Your Whole World Better
It’s easy to want to make your life into someone else’s. It’s even easier to take someone out of her life and into yours. A good guy respects the life you had before him and doesn’t try and take you from it.
He isn’t intimidated by your career, friends or weird hobbies, but celebrates them. He’s the best thing to come into your world, even if he’ll never be the center of it.
11. He Never Crosses The Line
It is natural to have disagreements and even arguments in a relationship, but there is no reason to make things personal, become insulting and never, ever to become abusive. A good man will remain calm and focus on the topic at hand.