They say a marriage that is rock strong can withstand the fiercest onslaught without leaving as much as a dent on it. Obviously whoever it was doing the talking here wasn’t married. No matter how strong your marriage may be or how much you might be in love with each other, there are always things that can pull you apart. So, not only do you have to worry about yourself but also be mindful of things beyond yourself that could be driving a wedge into the relationship.
Watch out for them and do all you can to prevent them working their damage.
1. Finding faults all the time
Constructive criticism, if it is meant to improve the marriage, is welcome. But, if you are always obsessing over the imperfections of your partner, then you are walking over troubled water. Chronic complaining tells your spouse that you are not happy with him, and he is not good enough. You might not feel this way, but this is the message you convey when you are out nit-picking on his small habits every now and then. What is even worse is when you do so in company of your family and friends.
The two of you never talk about important marital matters. You have lots of secrets to keep from each other! Taking the time to put into words how much your spouse means to you is just a waste.
3. Not appreciating him enough
Lack of appreciation is often one of the major causes of resentment in a marriage. It is easy to take your spouse for granted. If your partner is doing something special to make you happy, and if you fail to see his efforts and quibble on small things, then it will ruin his mood and ultimately your relationship too!
4 Fighting over financial matters with each other.
When money is tight and you are trying to make each penny last, meet unforeseen expenses, keep the house going, and fulfill other financial obligations, it’s not uncommon for both of you to experience frustration, hurt, and insecurity. Tempers are short, patience wears thin and before you know it, you are fighting over every single thing. Take a deep breath, clear your perspective, and be fair to your partner. Plan your budget together and see it meets your mutual requirements.
So, do you always keep your feelings pent-up and wait for him to figure out what is wrong? Well, that is what is actually wrong! He is not an expert, who will figure things out on his own based on your expressions and mood. By keeping quiet or closing communication you cannot solve any problem or resolve any issue. What’s more? Your attitude might throw him further away from the issue and the relationship.
6. Neglecting to take care of your attitude
While this may sound superficial, the level of pride that you take in your appearance often reflects you inherent values and the attitude that you have towards your relationship. Those who neglect to take care of themselves are essentially revealing a lack of drive or hunger for self-improvement, while also underlining the fact that they are not prepared to make an effort to look nice for their partner. This can slowly eat away at the foundations of a relationship, especially if your partner is extremely motivated to keep fit and take care of the image that they present.
7. Unrealistic expectations
When you begin a relationship there are certain underlying expectations. These boundaries get wrapped up in behavior and action. This might be particular chores around the house, how money is spent, or how children are disciplined. Problems emerge when these expectations become unrealistic and the partner feels crushed under the weight of their failing behavior. Most likely this will lead to an unhealthy relationship. Setting unrealistic rules on a spouse or partner is guaranteed to build distrust into the relationship and finally wear it down.
8. Playing the blame games
Blaming your spouse for an unwanted outcome or situation is a surefire way to shut down a conversation. Being able to say you’re sorry requires you to be able to admit when you did something wrong. If you can’t do that, you’re essentially saying you’re always right and he’s always wrong, which is just never the case. It’s not a competition, so losing a couple of battles along the way isn’t the end of the world. In a marriage, each must take responsibility for his or her own actions.
9. Putting yourself and your needs first
All successful relationships are based on a sense of compromise and collaboration, as each individual must consider the needs of their partner and place these ahead of their own. Individuals who continue to put their own needs first are unlikely to prosper in a relationship, simply because their better half will become tired of being marginalized and having their feelings disregarded over a prolonged period of time.