It’s funny, when you’re in the first few days, or even weeks, of a new relationship it can be all about how you feel, how you can’t get enough of the other person and how totally awesome your life is. You’ll get the butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms and the eagerness to spend as much time together that you almost become inseparable! All relationships require work. They don’t just materialize and maintain themselves, and they aren’t built on a foundation of convenience either. They take time and patience and two people who are willing to put in the effort.
Here’s how to do your part – ten things your relationships need from you:
Have trust in your partner. I know you have probably been hurt in the past by others, but the person you’re dating now is not the same person as your ex. If your partner has done something to discredit themselves, should they really be with you? Be with someone you can trust completely. Relationships should be a source of comfort and respite. When you don’t trust the person you’re dating, that insecurity spreads throughout your entire life. No trust = no relationship.
Neglect based on lack of attention damages relationships far more often than malicious abuse. There’s nothing more vital to the bond you share with others than simply being there for them. When we pay attention to each other we breathe new life into each other. With frequent attention and affection our relationships flourish, and we as individuals grow stronger. This is the side effect of a good relationship – we help heal each other’s wounds and support each other’s strengths.
Start your relationship on a solid foundation. You two should be able to laugh together, cry together and be there for each other during the good times and the bad. A good relationship means telling your partner all of your secrets, asking their opinions and making them a priority in your life. A best friend is someone you want in your life forever and always; when your partner is your best friend, you’ll do whatever it takes to make your relationship last.
4. Intimacy, Romance and Passion
Without these, your relationship is merely a friendship. All of these actions are the foundation of a loving and caring relationship. You need to want to be together as a couple and to show this you need to provide intimacy, romance and passion consistently and don’t wait for them to make the first move.
5. Dreams and Ambitions
This is so important, because it’s our dreams that keep us moving forward in life. As you’ve got your own willing cheerleader with you, please remember to share your dreams with them regularly. You’ll both have something to work towards together as a couple.
Stand by those you care about in their darkest moments, not because you want to stand in the dark, but because you don’t want them to either. Brave the shadows alongside them until they’re able to find the light. On the flipside, stand by these same people on their sunniest days, not because you want to scorch your skin, but because you’re not afraid to let them shine bright.
7. Acceptance, Compassion and Forgiveness
There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Even if it seems perfect now, it won’t always be. Imperfection, however, is real and beautiful. It’s how two people accept and deal with the imperfections of a relationship that make it ideal. The quality of the happiness between two people grows in direct proportion to their acceptance, and in inverse proportion to their intolerance and expectations. They must appreciate their similarities and respect their differences.
Sometimes we feel as though the world is crashing down around us, as if the pain we are experiencing is unique only to us in this moment. This, of course, is far from the truth. In fact, the very demons that torment each of us torment others all over the world. It is our challenges and pain that connect us at the deepest level. We are all in this together and we should treat each other as such.
9. Emotional Support and Compliment
This is a given isn’t it? The reason why we get into a relationship is to know that you have someone right beside you at all times. In this roller coaster of an adventure we call life, you have to be there for your partner; to lift them in down times, be happy in good times and to tell them you love, respect, and care about them.
10. Self Love
Relationships don’t create joy, they reflect it. Joy comes from within. Relationships are simply mirrors of the combined joy that two people have as individuals. What you see in the mirror is what you see in your relationships. Your disappointment in others perfectly reflects your disappointment in yourself. Your acceptance of others perfectly reflects your acceptance of yourself. Thus, the first step to having healthy relationship with anyone else is to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
Of course, not all relationships are the same, but these few tips will absolutely keep the average relationship happy and healthy!