Make sure that what you say on a first date makes a positive impact on the person sitting opposite you and doesn’t throw on the brakes. Let’s face it, that’s the last thing both you love birds want. The following pointers are good tips for maintaining a fun, relaxed and enjoyable conversation on your date — she’ll feel relaxed and you’ll show her the best version of you, it’s win-win. And, don’t forget, you can always alter these suggestions to suit your circumstances.
We’ve got some tips to make sure you are cool and confident and ready to have the best first date ever!
1. Plan it
Have an answer for when and where the date will be. Try to pick a location that’s comfortable and conducive to conversation. While movie dates are popular, they’re not great for first dates as you’ll both be staring at a screen all night. If the idea of staring at her from across a table all night intimidates you, choose an interactive date. Even if you have nothing in common, you can at least laugh about your poor mini-golf skills together.
2. Keep Your Hands to Yourself
You might think that touching her a lot on the first date shows that you’re into her. What you’re actually showing her is that you’re super-touchy on every first date. Way to make a girl feel special, right?
On a first date, touch should be limited and only natural, friendly, and warm—not sexual. In other words, it’s fine to take her hand to help her out of your car, or put your hand on her lower back to lead her through a crowded restaurant. But don’t drape your arm around her neck and hold her close the entire time.
3. Be Interested
Taking an interest in her life, job or anything else that she likes to talk about is a must for first date conversations. Yes, women like to talk about themselves, but they also want the guy to show genuine interest in what they’re saying to gain a bigger picture of who they are. You can do that by asking questions like, “How did your job/hobby/interest start?”
4. Talk About Your Dreams
Contrary to popular opinion, women don’t only want to talk about themselves; they also want to see what’s going on with you. When it comes to dreams, expressing yours will make her gain some interesting insight into you, and she’ll love that you can open up to her.
5. Make it A Two Way Conversation
Sure, you have to tell her about yourself, but dominating the conversation by rambling about your life will make you look narcissistic. Or worse: By not showing any interest in her, it can seem like you’re just waiting for the date to be over so you can get her into bed, Dr. Lieberman says.
What will impress her even more than learning about your accomplishments is seeing that you’re genuinely interested in hearing about her. If you’re not sure where to start, her job is usually a good bet. “Women love knowing that you take their work and ambitions seriously. “Ask her about what made her go into her career, and what she plans or wants to accomplish. Find out why it’s important to her.”
6. Laugh With Her
Our next first date conversation tip is as simple as it gets. The sound of your laughter is always something she wants to hear. It shows her that she has a great sense of humour and will help you both loosen up a little bit. Even if she’s not that funny, try and at least let out a chuckle because, let’s face it, it’s embarrassing enough when a joke tanks in front of your friends let alone a date.
7. Handle Your Liquor
Getting drunk on a first date doubles your chances of looking like a fool—and raises a major red flag, Dr. Lieberman says. She won’t know if you just guzzled your whiskey to ease your first-date jitters or if you hit the bottle too hard every night.
Guys drink too much when they’re nervous. To slow yourself down, have some food, alternate your alcoholic beverages with water, and go for drinks you know you can’t guzzle. Or try a beer.
8. Use compliments appropriately
She likely put some effort into her look for you, so offer her a compliment or two. Avoid a never-ending list of praise — it can get overwhelming — or comments that sound too sexual. “Beautiful” is better than “smokin’.”
9. Tell Her You Had A Good Time
By the end of the first date, there’s often an awkwardness that descends, with both parties not knowing if the other had a fun time or not. If you had a good time with her, then tell her. She will really appreciate hearing it, and it will save her from having to dissect the date’s occurrences with her girlfriends later.
10. Be A Gentleman
Women today don’t need over-the-top chivalry, but that doesn’t mean you should slack on your manners. Letting the door slam in her face, talking down to waiters, and spending the entire date glued to your phone are all behaviors that she won’t find attractive.
No matter how modern she is, a woman wants doors held open for her. “She also wants you to have good table manners.” At the very least, you should try to be the gentleman your mother raised you to be. And a general rule for every date: Stay off your phone.
11. Offer To Get The Bill
There’s nothing wrong with going Dutch on a first date, but it’s really the gentlemanly thing to pick up the bill. When she reaches into her purse, tell her that you have it covered. If you find the situation awkward, you could always be discreet by handing over your credit card in advance.