Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken. Maintaining a long distance relationship and making it work is not easy. It takes endurance, patience, trust and creativity more than a normal relationship requires. Most intercultural and interracial relationships are long distance and that’s due to a lot of online dating and social net working sites, anyone from anywhere in the world have access to this open border relationship.
The good news is you’re not alone. Over 14 million couples define themselves as being in long-distance relationships. If you’re a student, the numbers are even higher: about a third of student relationships are long-distance relationships, and 70% of students have been in a long-distance relationship at some point.
Here’s how to make sure you stay connected, regardless of how many kilometers or oceans separate you.
1. Avoid excessive communication
It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples thought that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.” Remember: Less is more. It’s about quality, not quantity.
2. Keep her close by giving gifts
Little gestures go a long way, regardless if you live together or you live across the country from one another. Send her flowers, write hand-written cards or letters and surprise her with non-traditional romantic things, too, like her favorite coffee or something for the kitchen that she keeps forgetting. Seeing these items around her apartment or her office will remind her of you and keep you in her mind always. Even if you can’t physically be close, you can feel closer to her by making sure you’re a presence in her life.
3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations
Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of with each other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise. For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? It’s better to mentally “burst some bubbles” now and talk through it, than to be shocked and disappointed if your partner does something you don’t like.
4. Sex is an important part of a relationship
There are only so many dirty photos and text messages you can send before you start to feel burnt out and sexually frustrated. Instead of doing the same message, photo, right hand dance, try something else instead: get on the phone! Hearing each other’s breath, moans and talking to one another while you’re pleasuring yourself will make it feel about as real as it can when you’re not physically together. And when you’re reunited after a long time, get in as much intimacy as you can – and not just that gotta-have-you release – but make an effort for some romance, too.
5. Try to communicate creatively
Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happening, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.
6. Avoid “dangerous” situations
If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her. Don’t be careless about this sort of matter because your partner is only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset, because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels extra powerless/lacking in control.
7. Keep the future in mind
Hopefully, your distance isn’t a permanent set-up. While you may be apart because of school, work or other factors, it’s important to keep the end goal within view, even if it’s out of reach. If you haven’t already had the discussion of where you both hope to be in a few years, start the process now. By knowing when you might actually live in the same area, it will help get you through the tough times when you just want to see her, hold her and sleep with her already.
8. Do things together
Play an online game together. Watch a documentary on YouTube at the same time. Sing to each other on Skype while one of you plays the guitar. “Take a walk together” outside while video-calling each other. Go online-shopping together — and buy each other gifts. You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.
9. Make visits to each other
Even if it can be expensive and stressful, it’s important that you find time to meet and be together. It can be during summer or Christmas vacation. Reuniting for a week or two and making the most out of it can refuel the relationship. The memories and experiences will inspire you to look forward to more exciting reunion in the future.
10. Stay honest with each other
Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.
11. Trust each other
Any relationship requires trust otherwise without this element; your relationship will not grow. You must trust him and you also must make sure that you are trust worthy. Don’t do anything that can potentially ruin his trust when he finds out. However, trusting your mate when you cannot see what he/she does and where he/she goes isn’t easy. Well, that basically depends on how long you’ve known your partner. If yours is still new, then go check the next tip.