The pace of a relationship is very important and plays a significant role in the success or failure of a relationship. While slow and dull relationships can become really boring, it can be intimidating for either one or both the people involved, if it moves too fast. There are no fast and hard rules for how quickly a relationship should move. It depends upon a number of factors: how old the respective participants are, their previous experiences, their present situations, their family backgrounds, their general outlook on life, etc.
Maybe you find yourself in a relationship in which you wonder if things might be moving too fast. Here are some things to be on the lookout for:
1. Constantly thinking about each other
It is really romantic to be love struck. It is beautiful to indulge in those deep thoughts every once in a while, but you cannot be doing that all the time! If you find yourself doing this, then you really need to control those thoughts. Especially if you have just recently started to date.
2. Even worse, being constantly in touch with each other
You are thinking about each other all the time, which is bad enough. But if you are messaging and talking all the time, then you are maybe going a little bit overboard with the whole relationship thing. There are a few days when you can do it, but if that is becoming your lifestyle, you should reconsider it.
3. Planning over-the-top romantic experiences
You find yourselves planning over-the-top romantic experiences involving a lot of money, a lot of intimacy or a lot of time together. There’s a time and place for special moments, but the level of romance should always correlate with the level of commitment.
4. Toothbrush time
Ahhhh, the classic sign of a relationship moving too fast: toothbrushes and paste, razors, soaps, even clothes, all begin making their ways into each other’s closets and cabinets. A discussion might need to be had about how speedily things are progressing.
5. Marriage talk
Talking about marriage already? That’s a BIG no-no in the early stages. Maybe you should start limiting contact until you’ve gotten to know each other a bit better.
If you’ve only just met, but the BF or GF introduction is already being used, you might want to insist on a little time out. This is a relationship that’s moving faster than a politician through a public inquiry.
7. The love is in the air without knowing anything
You need to know a substantial amount about the other person to be able to fall in love with them. You cannot just be in love when there is no information about the other person to back the love up. If you love someone without actually knowing who they are, you are definitely moving too fast in the relationship.
8. Knowing too much
Now, you might think we are crazy for this one. But think about it – how many people can just open up to you without really knowing you or vice versa? If it seems like your partner is sharing too much with you, or if you are sharing too much with them, it really might be a bad move. It is possible to scare the other person away and make them think that you are too clingy.
9. Managing each other’s money
Well, this is a rather scary situation. If you have just started to date and your partner knows everything about your financial situation, then things might be moving too fast. We all like to believe that there is no issue in sharing money, and letting someone else in on the details when things get more serious. If you are in the early stages, and are considering getting a joint account – stop it right there!
10. Getting irritated that the other person has made plans without you
Your plans might include your partner, but not all of theirs have to include you. If you get upset about this too easily, you really need to calm down. It is a clear sign that you are moving too fast in your head.
11. The full Kama Sutra
Sex is something that should be given over to a new partner slowly and steadily, building up trust and loving respect along the way. If you’ve gotten to the last page of the Kama Sutra, and you haven’t yet gone for coffee together, you’re in serious danger of turning your wanted relationship into a FWB situation.
Moving too fast is rarely a positive way to start a relationship. If several of the signs above are regularly popping up, you may want to reassess the pace of things. Although it may be hard, don‘t be too afraid to put on the brakes and take a step back; the right person will be willing to stick around.