A little white lie never hurts, right? Well, not exactly. Sometimes we tell little lies because we don’t want to hurt our partner’s feelings, but when it comes to dating, honesty is important. And, there’s certain things we usually fib about — like how many people we’ve had sex with or how we really feel about his inner circle — that can be even more hurtful to our guys and our relationships. It’s not easy being completely transparent with someone you’ve just started a relationship with But it’s extremely important. Better you than some fiendish person trying to ruin your relationship. If you have anything about your past that haunts you, spit it out, don’t keep things for later, the more transparent you are with your partner the healthier the relationship becomes.
Here are a few things that you should never lie to your boyfriend about:
1. About your past relationships
Most women would disagree with this but men respect women who are open about their past relationships. If you hide your past intimacy with your ex, he will get skeptical. If he asks how many people you’ve slept with before him, don’t give him the “safe” number. Give him the real one. Tell your boyfriend how many men you’ve dated before him. You should also tell him a little bit about each one, so that he has some insight into your past. If he can’t handle your answer, that’s on him—not you.
2. About your age
I know the rule: You never ask a woman her age. However, when it comes to dating, this rule must be broken. Don’t lie about your age. If he’s turned off, at least you will know where you both stand immediately. Lying about your age will instantly make you seem insecure, especially if you’re older.
3. About loving him
If a dude says those three BIG words before you’re ready to say them back, don’t lie and say, “I love you too” simply because you feel guilty not doing that. Look, I know this is an extremely difficult situation to be in. How are you supposed to react without crushing his feelings? I know it’s tempting to lie until you really do love him, but don’t – what if you never end up loving him? If you aren’t in love with him, don’t pretend that you are in order to spare his feelings. In the end, it’ll only end up hurting him.
4. That you are fine
Don’t pretend that you’re fine when you aren’t. If he did something to upset you, then be upfront about it. Look, everyone knows that when a girl says, “I’m fine,” she really means the exact opposite. If you’re angry at your boyfriend for something, tell him instead of making him play the guessing game. I know it’s frustrating when he doesn’t realize what he did wrong, but being upfront about what’s bothering you right away is going to make a fight come and go a lot faster. Being honest about when you’re angry or upset is also the way to make a relationship work – how do you expect to get anywhere if you can’t tell him how you feel?
5. About the life after marriage
Most women assume that talking about marriage will scare a man off, but that’s false. The man that’s right for you will want to know where you really stand—especially if he’s on a different path. There is a way to be open about where you desire to be in the future in terms of your relationship without putting too much pressure on the present situation. You can’t pretend that you want to become a mother when you hate the idea of having children. Eventually, he’ll find out that you were lying and then your relationship will crumble.
Read Also: 6 Things to Learn From The Man You Love
6. About your likes and dislikes
I’ve witnessed tons of girls out there lie to their boyfriends about what they like and don’t like simply because they want to impress them. Girls – this isn’t the way to impress a dude. You can impress him by sticking to your beliefs while still being open to his. Don’t tell him you love heavy metal when really Britney Spears is your fave singer just because he thinks Brit-Brit is lame. Don’t act like you hate cats just because he does too. Be yourself!
7. About your health issues
If you have an STD, I know you might feel way too embarrassed to tell anyone – but, sorry to tell you girl, you have to. It’s not okay to have sex with someone without filling them in on what’s going on down there, even if you two are using a condom. Would you like it if your boyfriend had an STD and just didn’t tell you? Probably not.
8. About your relationship status
If you’re in an open relationship, then he needs to know about it. You can’t trick him into believing he’s the only man in your life. You don’t have to race home to tell your boyfriend that you bumped into your ex at the mall. But if you have a friendly relationship with your ex and you two talk once in a while, you should fill your boyfriend in. Yeah, it might make him a bit jealous, but lying about it isn’t going to make anything any better! If you lie and he finds out, your innocent friendship is going to seem extremely suspicious to him, no matter what you say. But if you’re upfront about it from the beginning, he has much more of a reason to trust you that there are no feelings there.
9. About relationship needs and goals
Say you’re dating a dude who wants to keep things casual – meaning he wants to be able to see other girls. You really, really like him, so you agree to this even though you really don’t want to do it. It’s better than being alone, right? Um, no. When you’re dating someone, you need to be honest about what you really want from the relationship. Two people can’t date if they’re on two completely different pages.
10. About your sexual fantasies
In life it is normal to have desires and fantasies that are about anything and everything. A lot of men and women are scared to admit to their partner what they want done to them, or what they want to do. However, being in a relationship, you should be able to express your sexual fantasies, and you should be able to give them a shot as long as the people participating are willing. Don’t be afraid to tell him about your fantasies in the bedroom. He just might help them become a reality.
11. About his mean friends
It’s one thing to lie to your boyfriend about hating his friends – it’s another thing to lie to him if they’re being mean to you. If your BF’s friends are being really rude to you, you should let him know. Wouldn’t you want to know if your friends were being mean to your BF behind your back? Similarly, you should let him know if one of his friends tries hitting on you. His friend is doing something wrong and he deserves to know that. If you can’t stand him friends, it’s okay to let him know.
12. About your bedroom activities
Don’t ever tell a man he’s the best you’ve ever had unless it’s the actual truth. You may want to feed his ego, but it won’t work that way if you’re lying. If you tell him he’s the best then he has no room to improve. Compliment him but don’t overdo it. He’ll appreciate it the realness.