Every caffeine addict lover knows that home is wherever the coffee’s at. You’ll stop at nothing for that first cup of Joe in the morning because you know that without it you can’t be responsible for your actions. If you could wear it to work, you would. Here’s 18 things all the (original) coffee lovers will understand.
1. It’s the first thing on your mind when you get of bed in the morning
Well, second to thinking naaa not this BS, not today.
2. Your transformation from newborn naked mole rat to half-functioning homo sapien is quite something
It says ‘But first coffee’, doesn’t it.
4. You judge others
You guys that buy your filter coffee in a Starbucks cup purely for Instagram gains – yeah you, with your tripod out, you’re not even on first name terms with the barista. Get a real hobby.
5. Coffee jokes genuinely tickle you
Colleague: Sorry I’m late I…
Me: Better latte than never!! *chuckles into paper cup*
But the jokes on you my friend, because now everyone thinks you’re a d*ck with steamed milk for a nose.
6. You spend your life looking for coffee quotes on Instagram
Scroll, scroll, scroll, screenshot, scroll.
8. At some point you have justified spending real money on some sort of coffee related clothing
Because there’s nothing that says I love coffee quite like a solid slogan sweater.
9. You have to explain that you drank coffee before it was basic
You know, before it was cool to post flat whites on marble.
10. Sometimes you drink that much it can count as one of your meals for the day
11. When someone suggests that you should give up caffeine you get up and go and make a coffee just to spite their stupidity
12. When your friends try and tell you that you have a problem, you’re there like “hey remember that time I didn’t have a coffee…”
13. “What’s the difference between a latte and a cappuccino again?”
14. Decaf is like a profanity to your ears
They are offensive people who are just out to be offensive.
15. Nothing compares to the buzz
16. You’ve lost friends to coffee
Tried to give it up? Yeah, didn’t end so well.
17. You used to judge your teachers for having coffee breath
But you’re grown now. You understand that actually you don’t give a tiny rat’s ass because it tastes soooo good.
18. It’s been there through all the bad times
Exams, lock-ins at the office, the kind of hangovers that leave you physically shaking – nobody loves you back to life the way coffee can.