For some people, being single is a lifestyle that allows them to live without restraints. The single life is the epitome of freedom. It allows you to date multiple people, party like a rockstar, and move about without having to be held accountable for your actions. For others, being single means not having someone to share your dreams and aspirations with. It’s full of lonely nights, a lack of companionship, and having to get through every obstacle without anyone to stand by your side.
1. You Date the Wrong People
This is pretty self-explanatory. You’re not over someone—whether it’s your friend, your ex, or the cute guy who works at the taco stand. That isn’t to say that you can’t love multiple people at once—but if you’re not over a previous relationship or the potential of what could be: you’re not fit to be in a relationship with someone else.
2. You’re Looking For ‘The One’
I’m not saying that you have to settle for less than you deserve, but if you’re constantly looking for The Love Of Your Life, you’ll miss out on experiencing life. The One might exist—and if that’s the case, take the path you’re on until you finally get there. Live your life to the fullest, and don’t hold out if you find someone you want to experience life with. Not all relationships are meant to last, so take them as they go. Stop putting added pressure onto your prospects to be anything more than they are.
3. Your Standards are Too High
Sure, we all have our standards in regards to a potential mate. However, if your standards are too high, you will likely remain single. For instance, you may find someone who is attractive, but not as smart as you would like them to be. On the flip side, you may meat someone who is super smart, but not very attractive. Nobody is perfect, so, why would your mate be the only person in the world to fit the bill? You have to compromise on something or you will never find a partner.
4. You’re Not Good at Keeping Relationships
What if someone really wants to be with you but is just too scared to make the mistakes that others did when they chose you? What if that someone knew too well how terrible you are at keeping relationships? The good ones will take a risk but you also have to do your part. Reflect on your past mistakes and do something to change what needs to be changed.
5. You’re Emotionally Unavailable
Moreover, although you may believe you are ready for love, you may actually be emotionally unavailable. Loosely defined as being detached and unavailable for emotional connection, if you have a series of walls and barriers surrounding your heart, this may apply to you. In other words, you may like the idea of a relationship, but not be in the position to handle the emotion aspect that comes along with it. This often describes those who have had a series of negative relationship-related experiences in their past. Although it is possible to spark up a relationship with such a person, it will likely begin to fizzle rapidly as most people become frustrated with all of the effort it takes to try to connect to someone who is purposely sabotaging the connection.
6. You Want Too Much, Too Soon
This ties into the first point. Let’s say you’ve been seeing someone for a few weeks, and they’re really great and everything—but you ‘don’t see a future with them’, or vice versa. Take a step back. How well do you actually know this person? Probably not very well. Sure, you’ve likely shared some intimacy with this person, and you might feel close to them—but there’s still a lot more to learn.
7. Your Love Life is Not Your Top Priority
You think about dating here and there, but you are not going out on dates regularly. You spend time thinking about work, going to gym, you say you’re busy, but really you’re not prioritizing this part of your life. If you met an amazing guy today you would spend hours, maybe even days with him so why not put some of this time into finding him?
8. You’re a Game Player
Another overlooked reason why many people are still single lies in the fact that many choose to see the world of dating as one big game. Indeed, although we each have our own set of tools and tactics we use to land a potential love interest, there is a huge difference between that and choosing to play a game with the relationship as a whole. In other words, if you’re the type of guy who pretends to leave their wallet at home just to see how a woman handles it or the type of woman who orders the highest priced item on the menu to test his wallet, you may soon be sitting at the table alone. Yes, we should all be taking steps to ensure the person we end up with are up to our standards. However, most people don’t take kindly to being manipulated simply for the sake of.
9. You Tend To Push People Away
Have you noticed how others try and fail to be close to you? Have you noticed how you tend to find someone special but only end up pushing them away because you were either scared or angry to let people in your heart? Let them in. Give them that rare chance to love someone as special as you.
So what are the lessons that we can learn from all these? First of all, you don’t have to be perfect just to find someone to love you perfectly. Secondly, you don’t have to actively and aggressively look for ‘the one’. You just have to focus on loving yourself first and letting yourself be open to experiences without fear and hesitation. Trust me, they will be there, they will come when you’re ready.