When the person you love walks away from you, you’re not just picking up the pieces; you’re finding them all over again. Because whether you like it or not, you’re different. You aren’t the same person you were before you met him, and you’re never going to be that person again. So, how the hell do you get back to being yourself after a breakup?
There are no right things or wrong things to do after a break up. But there are a few smart things and dumb things to do that’ll definitely make a difference to your life. If you’ve broken up recently, or have been dumped by your dream squeeze, lift your chin up. It’s not the end of the world.
10 things to do after a break up
Here are ten things you really should do after breaking up with a lover. It’s a healing process, it’s fun and it’ll keep you occupied enough to say ‘do I know you…?’ the next time you walk past your ex flame.
1. Acknowledge, feel and accept your emotions.
Burying your emotions and refusing to acknowledge them is the worst thing you can do in such a vulnerable situation. Losing someone is confusing, heartbreaking and sometimes it even feels earth-shattering.
But you’re not doing yourself any favors by trying to be the tough guy and just “get over it.” That’s not how relationships work. That’s not how love works. Acknowledge your emotions, feel them fully and accept them for what they are. Do not judge them.
2. Don’t go crazy
Yes, you’re going to have a lot of free time on your hands. But look at the bright side, you have so much time to do the things you love. Don’t cut your hair off, don’t go having sex with anything that walks, and don’t drunk dial your ex all night long.
Lonely moments are inevitable when you experience a break up, even if you’re the one that ended the relationship. Your mind will convince you to go crazy, but try to avoid the urge by reasoning with yourself. You’re better off being single. No, no, really, you’re better off being single. Come on, you know you’re better off being single! See, it’s working already…
3. Remember the no contact rule
We love breaking rules, especially the no contact rule after we break up. When you were in the relationship, you were happier avoiding your lover. But now that you’re mentally restricted from contacting an ex, there’s a chance that you’d feel extremely affectionate towards your ex. Heck, you may even miss your ex. But the no contact rule exists for a reason. Follow it.
4. Surround yourself with great people.
Chances are you won’t want to spend a lot of time alone right after a breakup. It reminds you of what you lost (or what you think you lost). Spend your time with your best friends: enjoy their company, laugh and be social. Your best friends are your rocks. They’re going to support you on the good days, the bad days and every day in between.
5. Read a good book.
When you don’t stand a chance against taking your mind off of the breakup, dive into a good book. If it has any kind of emphasis on finding yourself or coming back from a downfall, even better. It helps to know that life kicks other people in the ass, too.
Often times, they were dealt a hand that’s a hell of a lot worse than any breakup you could ever go through. Reading puts life into perspective. Don’t know where to start? “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed and “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert are amazing, enlightening reads.
6. Have Fun
When you’re ready to authentically have fun again, get your girlfriends together and go out. Go dancing, go shopping, go on a roller coaster. Do something that makes you smile, laugh and feel good inside. I once went to haunted house where things jumped out at me and scared me half to death. This was so therapeutic. Be spontaneous and silly. Enjoy your life.
7. Take some time off from love
But flirt a lot. Avoid falling in love. Remember, love’s a trap that eventually leads to unbearable pain. Believe in that idea for the moment. What do you like about a relationship? The flirting and the groping. So go out there and do both of that. Just don’t fall in love just yet.
Whatever life throws at you, meditation is always one of those things that can bring you back to yourself and your center. This one discipline can assist you in all the complicated emotions you have about yourself and your heart. Getting to the heart of your pain and the reasons things didn’t work out is a miracle worker if you’re willing to sit with it.
9. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do
Yes, you were so happy when you were in a relationship. But really, how many things did you sacrifice? You gave up those late night wet texts to your cute friend, gave up grinding with other sexy people, and gave up a lot of things you loved doing. Now that you’re free, stick your ass or front up against someone sexy on the dance floor, indulge in the things you love and get your own life back out of the closet.
Nothing beats the wild, sexy rush of sweaty parties. There’s groping, grinding, liquor flowing and sexy people dry humping. Can life get any better than that, especially for a single person on the flirty prowl? Down a few shooters and dance like there’s no tomorrow. And party like you’re still eighteen. Just a word of caution, avoid getting so drunk that you wake up with something you’re not going to be proud of.