Most of us love to love and want our love to last. Yet so many relationships deteriorate over time. For those of you who have finally found your beloved, what you share is far too precious to lose sight of or take for granted. Having a successful, long-lasting relationship isn’t rocket science. By being loving and supportive, you can keep your foundation strong and build your dreams for the future. Here are some ways to make that happen:
1. Take Your Partner’s Breath Away
Do something amazingly thoughtful and out of the ordinary. And let there be an element of surprise to it. A loving note tucked into a pocket. A special dinner on an otherwise ordinary night. A playlist made up with his favorite songs. These thoughtful acts will embed you in his memory.
2. Do Something Special on a Regular Basis
Call him every day to touch base and get his nervous system used to hearing your voice. Make his favorite meal once a week. Once he begins to expect these things, you will always be close to his awareness.
3. Engage in Lots of Eye Gazing
New couples seem to do this naturally, but don’t drop this strong bonding behavior just because the relationship has progressed. This is one way to keep the romance alive and is especially powerful when making love.
4. Learn What Pleases Your Partner Sexually
Make it clear that his pleasure is your pleasure, and you want to discover everything about what turns him on. He’ll be happy to have you experiment with him.
5. Teach Your Partner What You Like
For most partners, pleasing you makes him feel good about himself. And research shows that the sexual pleasure of one partner increases the pleasure of the other partner.
6. Be the Change
An effective strategy to effect positive growth and transformation in your relationship is to “be the change” you want to see. If you want more of “something,” start with giving what you want to receive. If you want more patience, be patient. If you want more affection, express your love more demonstratively. Then watch what happens — it does work!
7. Compliment Each Other.
This one’s a daily to-do, if you can. There’s no nice thing that’s too small to mention: his excellent taste in music, the way he always opens the door for you—it’s all worth a verbal love tap. And he will swoon.
8. Don’t “Blame, Shame, or Complain.”
Before doing any of these things, it’s important to ask yourself how what you’re going to say will make your partner feel, and then, if it will make things better or worse.
Pointing fingers is easy, but it’s more effective to tell your partner what you’d like him or her to do differently and offer examples.
9. From Routine to Romance
“Small graces” are the little ways we show kindness, respect, admiration and consideration for one another. What do you know that makes your partner feel seen, heard and loved? If you want to get back the sexy zest in your relationship, rekindle your romance by giving and receiving these small graces daily. By the same token, an important component to intimacy is also the willingness to openly, gracefully and joyfully receive love in return. In doing so, you are nourished and give back to your partner the joy of giving. When you both commit to loving and giving more rather than keeping score, magic happens.
10. Do Something Edgy
If you get your partner’s heart rate up, he may associate the feeling of excitement with you and he may develop more powerful feelings for you. Going on a roller-coaster ride, taking a balloon trip, shooting the rapids — anything with a touch of danger to it — can make him fall more deeply in love with you.
11. Use Every Sense
Your partner has five senses. You can embed yourself in each one of them. For vision, wear sexy clothing that you know he likes, add the soft glow of firelight during your dates. For sound, speak in a pleasing tone, and use music you know he likes. For touch, find out what pleases him when you’re intimate. But even when you’re just spending time together, touch him while you’re talking, brush your hand on his arm as you walk by him, give him affectionate kisses. For taste, make sure your mouth tastes good when you kiss him. And smell is extremely important as it is linked to the most primitive part of his brain.