*Throws out shaving kit*
1. *Urges beard to grow faster*
3. *Makes stubble do push-ups*
4. *Builds time machine to get the salt and pepper look sooner*
5. *Feeds facial hair protein shake*
6. *Refuses to go near shaving kit*
7. *Embraces hipsterhood*
8. *Waters face and keeps in sunlight*
9. *Tries to hit puberty harder*
10. *Warns barber to stay away from cheek region*
11. *Searches Google for “Is there Bournvita for hair growth”*
12. *Hits Gillette out of stadium*
13. *Performs C-section to make hair come out ahead of schedule*
14. *Stares at face intensely to scare beard into growing*
15. *Celebrates Movember all-year long*
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