How to Find Your Soulmate: Top 13 Ways to Try

Sometimes finding a perfect romantic match is based on luck. However, you are more likely to find a partner in life by working on improving your attitude toward yourself, love, dating, and relationships. The law of attraction is the belief that “like attracts like,” and that by focusing on positive thoughts we can bring about positive results. By understanding and following this simple rule, you will be empowered to attract a lifelong partner. Many people are running around trying to find a soulmate, thinking they will automatically feel their soulmate, simply by how effortless it will be or by the intense connection they will feel. Well, this isn’t how to find your soulmate and not true at all. Resist the temptation to find your soulmate by leaving it to the fates: improve yourself and your dating strategies in order to increase the likelihood of finding your lover.

Here are some ways that will help you to find your soulmate:

1. Love yourself first.

You can’t possibly attract love if it doesn’t have a home within your heart first, so make sure to love yourself now, as you are. How do you do this? It’s simple: just accept yourself, be kind to yourself, and honor yourself. Loving yourself isn’t conceited or arrogant; it just means that you respect yourself enough to have confidence in your own unique cosmic energy. To manifest more love in your life, it’s essential that you first cultivate it within yourself, and send out that energy into the universe.

2. Develop your emotional intelligence.

This is basic, foundational work everyone should undergo in preparation for a great relationship. If you have low emotional intelligence, or you don’t know what it is, today is the best time to start working on it. Emotional intelligence is a set of skills that include control of your impulses, self-motivation, empathy and social competence in interpersonal relationships. It involves the ability to listen well, communicate calmly, and maintain self-control. Without emotional intelligence, your love relationship will have problems, even if you are compatible in most other areas.

3. Cultivate desirable traits in yourself.

Make a list of traits you enjoy in a partner. Perhaps you are attracted to a good sense of humor or to a nice smile. Maybe you like someone who is athletic and participates in sports, or maybe you are attracted to someone who enjoys reading novels. No matter what the trait is, consider how you might be able to embody that trait yourself. If you work on yourself in this way, you might find that you end up meeting somebody who shares your interests and desires. Moreover, if you do not end up meeting your soulmate in this way, you will still have improved yourself and learned new skills.

4. Be positively clear about what you want in a mate.

Each “failed” relationship has given you clues about what you want in your ideal partner. The problem is, many women and men focus on the negative instead of the positive. For example, by saying that you don’t want a man who “puts his work before the relationship,” you are focusing on a man who puts work before love and that is the desire you are unconsciously sending out through your energy. The good news is, if you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want. Your power to create lies in your ability to choose thoughts that are positively clear so that you can tell the universe exactly what you desire.

5. Steer clear of attached persons.

If you meet a wonderful person who is in a relationship with somebody else, resist the urge to have an affair with him or her. Most relationships that began with an act of infidelity do not last. They are rooted in scarcity and in wanting what you cannot have more than in true affection.[5] Wait until your ideal partner is single for a while before pursuing him or her in order to make sure that your relationship has a fighting chance.

6. Be friendly.

Smiling and laughing will help make new acquaintances feel more comfortable around you. If you want to encourage somebody to open up, keep your body language open and act in a friendly manner. Some light flirting with someone you’re attracted to is also a great way to determine if they are attracted to you as well.

7. Say yes to blind dates.

Your friends know who you are and what you like. Let their instincts guide you if they think you might be a good match for someone they know. Not all blind dates are successful, but some certainly are. Don’t close yourself off to opportunities to meet new, interesting people.

8. Meet people in heart-pounding places.

People are more likely to feel attracted to someone else when they are in a situation of arousal. Having a fast heartbeat, sweating, and experiencing extreme feelings can make someone more susceptible to feelings of sexual attraction and liking. Some good, physically arousing places where you might find a potential soulmate include the gym, horror films etc.

9. Don’t let the perfect get in the way of the good.

Perfection in a lover often doesn’t happen right away: it takes time. If someone seems like a good fit but has some slight imperfections, try to look at the bigger picture. A perfect love can happen between two imperfect people. This advice does not apply to “imperfections” that are in fact abusive or controlling. If your partner tries to hurt, insult, or isolate you from others, that is a relationship dealbreaker.

10. Put work into the relationship.

Even if you meet somebody who seems ideal to you, you both will have to work hard in order to strengthen and grow your relationship so that it lasts. This means that you might have to solve disagreements, put up with one another’s annoying habits, and be forgiving of one another.

11. Detach emotionally for a day.

When you’re infatuated with someone, everything about them is tinted with a rosy hue. It’s hard to observe this new love interest without the filter of your chemically-driven feelings. But as unromantic as it sounds, there are practical considerations to address when you’re thinking about your life partner. If it feels like things are getting more and more serious, emotionally step back just long enough to make a clear-headed assessment of some of these practicalities. Could you live in the same space with this person day in and day out? Can you get along with his or her family and friends? Are they financially responsible? Do you like the same foods? It’s the small things that can turn into prickly issues once the relationship matures.

12. Have some fun in bed.

Relationships are happier and more fulfilling when couples take the time to be physically affectionate with one another after sex. If you think you have found your soulmate, be sure that you make time to cuddle, spoon, and have some pillow-talk after sex. This will create a positive feedback loop that will allow your relationship to thrive.

13. Pay attention to feelings of calm and comfort.

If you have found a soulmate, you will feel peaceful, joyful, and will believe that your relationship is a strong and healthy one. Your soulmate should support you, and you should support your soulmate. If you feel anxious, nervous, or queasy because of your relationship, you might not be in the right relationship for you. Remember that calmness, comfort, and relationship health are more important than drama, nerves, or adrenaline rushes.

Have you found your soulmate, or are you still looking for that one person to be your lover, best friends, and lifelong companion? Please share your story in the comments below.