If we had a penny for every time a guy searched for ways to get out of the friend-zone, we would be frigging billionaires. So, here’s the deal – when we say you can get out of the friend zone with a girl, there are some conditions. Firstly, you had a chance with her at the very beginning or some other point of your friendship when you could have made your move, but you missed (think Ross of ‘Friends’ in the early seasons). Secondly, the girl you want is single and not dating – because we are not going to show you how to break her up with her man, buddy! Now that we have that settled, let’s move on to how you can escape the lonely town of Friend-Zone.
- Face Reality
Target: Warm Up
First things first – you have to understand completely the situation at hand before making any moves and destroying any chance you might have of getting with this girl. If she thinks of you as her friend, you have to change the way she thinks without coming off too strong. So expressing your feelings right away is out of the question. If you want this, you are going to have to work for it – so no shortcuts, okay?
- Work On Yourself
Target: Get Her Attention
The thing with girls is that if you are their friend, they are never going to look at you any other way – unless there are certain subtle differences. Number one, your looks. Inner beauty and all of that is fine, but if you started developing some serious muscles or maintaining some suave grooming habits – you will have gained access to the first ticket outside Friendsville – her attention. So, work on yourself – the icing on the cake is going to be all the confidence that comes along with that.
- Meet Other People
Target: Get her jealous
How many times we have seen friend-zoned guys be at the beck and call of their girl friends! Now, if you going to be her friend, that’s okay. But if you want something more, you have to make her realize your value in her life. Start ditching plans with her once in a while. Try meeting other people and making other plans. Trust us, she is going to notice. However, don’t distance yourself too much either that you end up pissing her off so much as to question your friendship.
- Meet Her For Non-Dates
Target: Get Her To Drop Her Guard
You cannot ask her out for dates without making it weird, right? So, get her to meet you for non-dates, which basically means going out for some chores or plans which you had anyway – only that she would be accompanying you. For instance, taking the dog to the vet, picking up your brother from school – you get the drift. That way, not only will you get to take her out without being weird, but you will be able to get her away from your group (if you two hang out in a circle of friends).
- Next Stop: Flirtation
Target: Get Inside Her Head
This stage is tricky, because you want to come off too strong and seem like a weirdo. Always remember that she has to reciprocate your sexual attraction – else it is not happening. You have to master the art of flirtiment (flirtation + compliment). Saying things like “If I were your boyfriend, I wouldn’t have let you leave the house looking like you are. I wouldn’t have let you leave the entire day, actually.”
- Level Upgrade: Your Sexuality
Target: Get Her Fantasizing
Step five was verbal, this one is more physical. You have to get into the touchy-feely zone with ease. Move from casual touches on the arms or the back of her neck to hugs. Secondly, emphasize your own sexuality if and when she talks about other guys by talking in graphic details about your own desires about other girls. Letting her know not so subtly that you are not an asexual being but a hot-blooded single male yourself will make her view you in a whole new light.
- Swoop In
Target: Swoop In, What Else?
If you have been successful in the six steps mentioned and achieved all the six targets, you can make your move and finally get out of the godforsaken Friendsville for good. However, don’t think the race is won. This stage is as crucial as the others, if not more. One wrong move and you could probably be back to square one, or worse – lose her for good. Chances are, if everything went according to plan, she has started wondering about you out of the friend-zone as well – only she is not going to be taking the first step. After all, it was she herself who put you there in the first place. Read the signs carefully, because she is going to be consciously or otherwise dropping hints all over the place. Take the right moment – and whoosh! Swoop in like the player you are.
Getting all of these steps done can take anything from a couple of weeks to months. However, patience bears sweet fruit. If you cannot get this done by this Valentine’s Day – we are sure you can get it done by the next one. Good luck!