Dating & Sex

6 Times When It’s Normal to Say NO to Sex in a Relationship

Are you getting turned down in the bedroom? Don't worry, it's not about you.

Having sex with your partner is expected when you maintain a close relationship with one another. It’s normal for there to be times when the man or woman is not in the mood to spend time in the bedroom. When you’re approached by your partner to make love, there are a few times when you should say no.


1. You’re in a Fight

It’s important to resolve a fight before making love to ensure that you can have peace and truly enjoy getting physical. Neglecting issues that may be present can make it easy to have underlying issues become more of a problem over time because you’re more focused on your physicality. Spend the time talking about your fight and reaching a resolution to ensure that you’ll have a deeper connection when you get between the sheets.

2. You’re Feeling Under the Weather

Saying yes to being physical when you don’t feel well can make the act unenjoyable for both parties. You may be suffering from a headache or have a lack of energy, which can make your significant other realize that you’re not into it. Wait until your headache subsides or until you get over your illness to make love. This will allow you both to feel respected and appreciated instead of forcing your time together and having it be inauthentic.

Make it a rule to respect each other’s no if the person isn’t feeling well. Thank each other for being honest instead of holding hostility, which can lead to control in the relationship.

3. Say no if You’re Not in the Mood

Although you may love and care about your partner, it doesn’t mean that you’ll always be in the mood for foreplay. You can turn down your partner’s requests if you’re stressed or are busy. Communicate that you’re not in the mood and do what you can to reschedule your time together later in the evening or for the following day. This will make for an ideal compromise that shows respect for your significant other and will prevent them from feeling turned down. It’s important to communicate your reason behind your no to ensure that you partner understands where you’re coming from and doesn’t push the issue.

4. You’re Moving Too Fast

Another reason you may want to turn down physical time together is because you’re moving too fast in the relationship. You may want to get to know each other more and bond on an emotional level before moving to the next level. This will ensure that you’re both ready and can value the relationship. Communicate how much you appreciate the person and don’t want the relationship to fail by moving too quickly. This will allow your partner to take your response in stride and avoid feeling offended or hurt.

Read Also:  40 Different Types of Kisses with their Meaning

5. Say no if You’re Stressed Out

Many people attempt to get physical with their partner when they’re stressed out. And that can cause them to be distracted while making love. Avoid saying yes to closeness if your mind is racing or you’re not able to focus on your partner. This can make it difficult to perform and can lead to a bad experience together. Evaluate how you feel ahead of time to ensure that you really want to perform the act before committing. Saying no to the act can actually make you begin to enjoy it again instead of forcing yourself to do it.

6. You’re Feeling Uncomfortable

Sometime you don’t feel that you’re capable of performing or aren’t feeling confident in your own skin. Insecurity can affect your time together and can begin to harm the relationship if you fail to communicate. Talk about your feelings and only agree to make love when you have a more positive mindset.

Although making love is important to remain committed and increase your connection with your partner, there are a few times when it’s important to say no. By knowing your boundaries and evaluating your feelings, you can enjoy making love and avoid viewing it as a chore.

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