You’re in what you think is a great relationship. You’re swimming along, happy as clam. But you have this nagging feeling that some of the things you do might be signs you’re not ready for a relationship. Unfortunately, wanting a serious relationship and being ready for one are two very different things. Although sometimes we think we’re really ready, our minds and hearts betray us when we realize we’re pushing our partners (and the relationship) away through certain actions.
Luckily, there’s no rush, because we all find love at the time that’s right for us. But if you’re wondering about things you might be doing to sabotage yourself, here are seven signs you’re not ready for a relationship like you think you are.
1. You don’t know what you want
Sometimes people with commitment issues do not really know what they actually want in a relationship. So if you feel you are not clear about your relationship goals and find yourself constantly in yo-yo or on-and-off relationships where you go through extreme emotions, chances are you might be grappling with commitment issues.
2. You think you haven’t dated enough people
Do you feel like it’s too early to commit to an exclusive relationship? If you think you’re too inexperienced to “settle” into a serious relationship just yet, because you’re still having so much fun keeping it simple, perhaps, you’re just not ready for true love yet.
3. You think about the past a lot
You still have feelings for your ex. You’re trying to move on, but you’re still tortured by your ex’s memories and the good times both of you shared together. If your ex dominates your present lover in your mind, you definitely have some old issues to fix before moving on.
4. You don’t feel the compatibility
You like the person you’re dating, but somewhere at the back of the mind, something just doesn’t feel right. And both of you seem too different from each other to last past the infatuation stage in love.
5. You’re being a fake
In a new relationship, many people don’t reveal their true selves and their true ideas because they’re afraid they may not be liked for who they really are? Are you one of these people? If you’re not being yourself around the person who loves you, just so you can please this person with your perfect behavior, both of you are definitely not ready for a serious commitment.
6. You’re too independent
You don’t like the idea of having to *report* to someone every few hours about your whereabouts over the phone. You don’t like feeling obligated to meet someone or spend time with them, even though you really like their company. You just love your independence, and when you date someone, you feel like your freedom is being taken away from you.
7. Emotionally unavailable
You just don’t feel the need to connect with someone emotionally. You clam up when it comes to talking about your feelings, and even if something hurts you or bothers you, you’d rather deal with it in your own way, instead of confronting the situation with the person involved. If you’re emotionally unavailable, it doesn’t matter who you fall in love with, but most of your relationships will end up failing.
8. You feel like a faliure
Commitment phobia can grow from an inferiority complexity. You might be suffering from
low self-esteem or depression. “This can prevent you from entering into long-term relationships.
9. Love is not a high priority for you
You’ve got nothing against the idea of getting into a serious relationship, but there are other things in your life that are more important to you at this point in time. Even if your partner accepts the idea right now that they’re not high on your list of priorities, they would definitely change their mind a few months down the lane because no lover would want to be on the lower side of a partner’s list of priorities.