How to Stop Arguing and Actually Solve Your Relationship Problems

No couple wants to sit and fight all the time. You’re with someone to enjoy their company, not argue with them about every single little thing. That means you’ll have to come up with different ways to stop fighting with your boyfriend.

While it may seem difficult to just stop fighting, there are different ways you can make it happen. Keep in mind that not all couples are the same and you’ll have to find out which techniques work best for you.

couple fighting

1. Stop bringing up the past

This is a huge reason couples get into fights. They both bring up issues in the past that were supposed to have been solved. Sure, you may not be happy that something happened, but if you already argued about it and found a solution, you can’t bring it up again – unless this current argument it for the same thing that was done before.

2. Argue In Person, Not Through The Phone

So much communication is done through texting that it’s normal for an argument to pop up there too. But don’t do it! Wait to argue in person rather than through the phone. It makes communication easier. It also gives you both time to cool down a little bit before you talk. Text-fighting is so complicated. It’s easy to misunderstand things, or to just ignore each other completely. If you start fighting, say, “We can talk about this in person.” And then wait it out.

3. Think Of Your Life Without The Company Of Your Partner

If you really want to save your relationship and end your never ending arguments, think about the disadvantages of living your life without your partner. You won’t have anyone to share your secrets with nor will you have someone who will like you for who you are. Who will hold you in your arms and say “I love you”? Who will look into your eyes and smile? Who will tolerate your idiosyncrasies and quirky little habits?

These were just a few questions to ponder about. To stop fighting with your partner, you must realize that life without your girlfriend or boyfriend can possibly be much worse than the rough patch that your relationship is going through.

4. Accept their little quirks – even if they annoy you

There are going to be things that you’re unhappy with about your boyfriend. No one you’re with is going to be 100% amazing all of the time. But if you want to stop fighting about those things, you’re going to have to accept them. If you truly care about him and those issues don’t change the dynamic of your relationship, let them go so your fights don’t ruin it.

5. Don’t sweep major issues under the rug

Most couples bicker here and there and then don’t address the main concern of the issue. If all you do is argue and then sweep the main problem under the rug, you’ll just continue to argue all the time. Never do this if you want to stop fighting with your boyfriend.

6. Start Listening More, Talking Less

When the time comes for you guys to talk, you need to focus on actually listening. Of course this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak up – you should! But make sure you’re listening as much as you’re talking (and he should do the same as well). When you talk, he listens – and when he talks, you listen. Don’t talk over each other or refuse to hear what the other person has to say. Those things will get you nowhere.

7. Communicate Instead Of Yelling

This one is hard, because when you’re arguing, your natural reaction is probably to yell or raise your voice. But try as hard as you can not to. Once you get to that point, it’s really difficult to get things more calm again. Try talking things out instead of yelling at each other. Do all the things listed above – and if things get crazy, just walk away.

8. Make a List of the Reasons Why You Want to Stop Fighting With Your Partner

The easiest way to be reminded of how badly you want to stop fighting with your girlfriend or boyfriend is to make a short but hard-hitting list of things that point out why you want to save your relationship. It can be a silly and mushy-mushy list, or it can be a serious list of things that hit you hard.

9. Don’t throw insults into your argument

Insulting someone during an argument is a horrible thing to do – especially if it has nothing to do with why you’re mad in the first place. If you just keep throwing insults at him while you’re fighting, the arguing will never end. Why? Because they’ll have more things to be mad about and more things to fight with you about. So keep the insults to yourself because you may say something you’ll regret later, when you’re not mad.

10. Remember that a relationship is about loving and not fighting

It’s easy to forget about how much you love your boyfriend when you’re burning with anger for them. But you have to take a step back and remember that your relationship should be based off love and understanding. This may help you to calm down and talk things through instead of continuing to fight about it.

11. Stop Focusing On Who’s Going To Win

If you’re a competitive person like I am, you probably want to win most arguments instead of having to apologize. But having that mentality is really bad for your relationship. It’s not about who wins or loses, it’s about resolving the issue. Keep that in mind.

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