Actually, ladies are complicated. We play amusements, give hints and say just about anything other than what we really mean. Everything seems to have a deeper meaning or no meaning at all. It is insane and confusing.
The worst part is that we expect the poor guys around us to decipher our madness and respond in the correct way. This unrealistic expectation has unfortunately led to many broken relationships and miscommunications.
It is hard to comprehend ladies. We don’t even truly understand ourselves half of the time! Along these lines, to help others avoid further confusion and hurt feelings, this list will aid men in interpreting common phrases the women in their lives say on a daily basis.
Here is what we think a woman really means when she says –
1. “I’m fine…”
The proper response to this is, “Are you sure?” You might even want to ask this a couple times to be safe. She will not tell you that she is totally not fine the first time you ask. She is probably in need of a good cry, venting session or hug. However, you must first prove that you really care about how she is feeling.
2. “Sorry, what?”
Quickly, revaluate your previous statement. It is possible that she honestly didn’t hear you and would like you to repeat what you just said. Most likely, she heard you loud and clear. This is just your chance to change your answer.
3. “Do whatever you want.”
This is a test of your judgment. I’m not going to tell you if I think it’s okay or not to do this thing. You should know enough about me by now to know if I’m okay with it. Which I’m not, by the way. If you do this, we are through.
4. “Are you seeing anyone?”
I’m interested, but I don’t want to waste any more energy on you if you’ve already got someone in your life. If you do, be honest right now. If you don’t, ask me for my goddamn number already.
5. “I’m almost ready.”
I’ll be ready when I’m ready. Could be 10 minutes, could be an hour. Find something else to do.
6. “It’s okay.”
It is not okay. Take note of her body language and tone of voice. You might benefit from groveling on your hands and knees at this point.
Did you seriously ask me, “What’s wrong?” As if you don’t know. Everything is wrong. Everything. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
8. “We need to talk.”
She has a lot of things to say. Get ready to listen and insert the right comments at the right times.
9. “Five minutes!”
It is going to take at least twenty. Maybe two hours. Whatever it ends up being, get ready to wait patiently. Do not rush her. (Tip: When she finally emerges from the bathroom, only comment on how gorgeous she looks. Don’t mention the time.)
You have won this round, but I refuse to concede, so I’m dismissing that last point you made, and we shall never speak of this again.
11. “Does this make me look fat?”
This indicates she feels ugly and it is up to you to make her feel like the beautiful person she is. Do not mess this one up.
Sometimes this really does mean yes. Half the time it is a maybe or a no though. It is extremely hard to distinguish the difference. When in doubt, just assume that it is a real “yes” and hope for the best.
13. “Maybe…” or “No.”
No. Just no.
14. “Oh, you don’t need to get me anything.”
Notice the word “need” in this sentence. No, you don’t need to get her anything, but she secretly wants you to. Do not miss this opportunity to show her that your gift isn’t an act of duty. Show her you want to get her something anyway. You will score major points with this one.
15. “That guy is hot.”
I think you’re taking me for granted and/or you’re starting to let yourself go a little, so I’m lighting a little fire under your ass.
16. “I’m sorry.”
I am empathizing with you for something shitty that you went through. This does not mean I am admitting fault in any way.
17. “I’m tired.”
I don’t want your dick anywhere near me tonight. I’ll be going to bed soon. After that, feel free to go to town on yourself. Just leave me out of it.
18. “We always do the same thing”
When a woman says that you always do the same thing in bed, she is not just whining for the sake of whining. She is telling you that she wants you to initiate something passionate and new.
19. “Do you think she’s pretty?”
No, your girlfriend is not trying to set you up in a catch-22 situation, and there is a way out without getting slapped in the face. You must simply tread carefully. Your girlfriend will know that you’re lying if you say an obviously beautiful woman is not pretty. However, your girlfriend does not want you to say that you find another woman more attractive than herself. What she’s actually doing, is showing you that she is feeling particularly insecure about herself and her looks.
20. “He’s such a stalker.”
“I’m extremely flattered by the fact that I have a (very harmless, not literal) stalker.”
21. “I don’t care where we go to eat.”
“I care a lot about where we go to eat and actually have some very specific preferences about where we need to go. I just need you to start naming restaurants. Make sure to name the right one within five attempts because I am already getting hungry.”
22. “Are you’re going to wear that?”
Go and change immediately! I don’t like that dress of yours.
23. “Do whatever you want.”
Alert! Alert! This is totally a test. Do not make the rookie mistake of thinking that she is actually fine with whatever you want to do. She is seeing if you know her well enough to be able to guess what she wants you to do. Why do women do this? I have no idea. But good luck.
24. “What did you say?”
I just gave you a get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s up to you to rephrase that stupid thing you just said to avoid a huge fight.
25. “Don’t worry about it.”
I’ve asked you five times to fix the fucking sink and you still haven’t done it? I can’t count on you for anything.