Your romantic partner should be someone you love, someone you can rely on, and someone you trust. That said, sometimes, we don’t always get that. There are some things your partner should never say to you — like, ever — and when we find ourselves in a relationship with someone who does say them, it’s usually time to get out. Everyone says hurtful things now and then without meaning to in a relationship. We’re human. We make mistakes. And then, we apologize.
1. It’s all your fault.
Placing the blame on somebody else never solves the issue, even if they really were the source. Avoid pointing fingers and potentially escalating the situation, and explain how you feel rather than using accusatory statements.
2. Ugh, I just want to slap you right now!
Even if they’d never take things to a physical level, saying so isn’t that much better. In the peak of an argument, your partner should resist the urge to blurt out damaging things like this. It won’t solve a single problem, and it’ll probably fire you up even more.
3. You’re such a liar.
It’s normal to yell about lying, especially in the heat of an argument. But it definitely shouldn’t become a habit. This implies you don’t believe anything your partner says, and that you have issues with trusting yourself or others. Never a good thing when you’re trying to have a healthy relationship.
4. Stop being so dramatic.
Stop being so dramatic” is a gaslighting term that makes you feel like you’re being unreasonable, and you should never say this to your partner. If this is something you’ve told more than once in your relationship, it means you are not interested in listening to your partner’s needs and concerns and is already convinced they do everything wrong and you are right.
5. You can’t do anything right.
This phrase is one of the most dangerous because the more you hear it, the more you might start to believe it yourself. Telling you that you’re incompetent — even if they don’t mean it — is extremely hurtful. This could affect a person’s overall confidence and self-worth.
6. Your job is pointless.
We all have opinions about different careers. In fact, this has never been more true than today, when an increasing number of people are choosing flexible job options. Regardless, we all must respect that what works for one person may not work for another — and that’s okay.
7. That’s so stupid.
It’s never acceptable for your partner to insult your intelligence, or to imply that something you like is “dumb.” When you’re on the receiving end of such comments, it really can hurt your sense of self-worth. Plus, it’s just downright rude.
8. I told you so…
OK, sure, we all feel a little urge to go “I told you so” when something we said works out the way we said it would. But still, it’s a terrible thing to say, and it definitely shouldn’t be uttered with any kind of regularity in a relationship. This is indicative of a really immature partner who is probably just going to get meaner over time.
9. If you love me, you would…
It’s not fair for your partner to guilt trip you into getting their way. Putting that kind of pressure on you is manipulative because they know you’re more likely to fulfill their request when they put your love in question.