When you’re young, falling in love seems easy. You think that just because you’re attracted to someone and love to spend time together, that this is enough to make a lifelong commitment. Well, think again. Even the best marriages will get stuck in too much distance or too much intensity and blame. There are a few relationship rules that can change a drifting relationship into a romantic one. There’s no official guidebook for being in a relationship, but there are some unwritten rules that all couples should follow. These ground rules should be in place to make sure both you and your partner are engaged in a loving, respectful partnership.
Here are some relationship rules you should never break:
1. Don’t play blame game
People blame when they’re upset and unable to adequately articulate their frustration. But when you blame your partner, you put him/her on the defensive, creating an unsafe environment, and cause him or her to pull away. Instead of blaming and being a victim, the emotionally mature response is to understand what is really bothering you. Every frustration is really a request — figure out your unmet need and ask for that instead of blaming. You’re more likely to have a more successful outcome that way.
2. Be loyal to your partner, always
Being accused of hiding something from your partner is not a great way to establish trust, which is essential to a good relationship. Do your very best to follow this golden rule that every relationship needs to know because the consequences of being less than honest are lonely and painful. If you are unsure whether to tell your partner about something, ask yourself if they found out another way if they would be upset. Trust, once broken, is never quite the same again. If one partner is having trouble with fidelity, then maybe he or she isn’t ready to commit. Cheating is unacceptable under any circumstance.
3. Keep promises or don’t make them
If you feel like you cannot keep a promise, then don’t make one. Couples should strive to never break promises. The thing is, they tend to make them too quickly. Before promising anything to your partner, think long and hard about the topic. Although promising may make your partner happy for the time being, there is a chance that promise will be broken. The more likely it will be broken, the less reason to make the promise. It’s usually better to just say that you will try to do something.
4. Do not limit expressions of love to grand gestures
It’s impossible to keep up. Fancy dinners or luxury vacations are wonderful, but love does not have a dollar value. If given the option between a weekly sunset walk or an annual vacation, the majority would pick the weekly walk. Money does not show love. Gestures show love. A free gesture also holds value.
5. Friendship is the main key
A strong and fun friendship is the number one rule when having a long-term happy relationship. When partners can laugh and have fun together, it creates a stronger bond to help them get through the rough patches. Every relationship has rough periods and negative interactions. We need to ensure that we outweigh the negative with the positive.
6. Never ask for something that you are not willing to give
In a relationship, you have the right to ask your partner for anything you want. Keep in mind, though, that you can’t always have everything. When you ask your partner to do something, make sure that you are willing to return the favor in kind.
7. Learn to compromise
There’s a complexity to compromising. With gender roles ever evolving it’s important to recognize it’s not about who wears the pants. It’s about balance. Compromise is an inherent part of a relationship. You will have to sacrifice in a relationship. That’s the nature of relationships. If you want your way all of the time, stay solo. It’s about finding a healthy balance in compromise. Both people in a relationship must understand that necessity of compromise and sacrifice in a relationship to make it work.
8. Always say good morning and good night
This is not very difficult. If you constantly fail to do either of these, then there really is a problem between the two of you. You can greet your partner in a text, an email, or if you really want bonus points, call them. Your busy schedule should not hinder you from showing your loved one that you are thinking about them.
9. Never reveal you arguments to your friends
It’s so important to keep relationship issues between the two of you. Respect their privacy by expressing upset and complaints to your partner only — not to friends, family members, and definitely not on social media. This helps you both to heal and repair your issues by becoming each other’s advocate.
10. Build intimacy out of sex
Sexual passion is not always an enduring factor in long-term relationships, so this golden rule is important to make sure that your relationship has staying power of many intimate moments, shared jokes, joy, laughter, and connectedness that will keep you bonded for life. Always be willing to spend that sort of quality time together no matter what life throws at you.
These relationship rules could seem simple, but following them to the tee can make all the difference between a romantic relationship and a failed affair. If you really do treasure your love, make a difference with these tips. You won’t regret it!