Long-distance relationships suck. Perhaps one or both of you travel a lot for work or maybe you’ve got a spouse stationed overseas for a military assignment. While it’s said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, staying sexually satisfied in a monogamous relationship presents unique challenges when the physical touch of your lover is beyond your fingertips. Although it takes a special commitment and bond to make these relationships last, you can make the time go by quicker until you’re reunited.
If you’re also looking to stay close even when distant, try these ideas to stay connected and turn up the heat.
1. Surprise Each Other With Gifts
Sending an unexpected care package every once in a while goes a long way. If he’s sick, pack a box with vitamins, herbal tea, a book, and a couple of DVDs. You could send a few seriously sexy gifts to one another. Do some online shopping and see if there are any sex toys, X-rated comic books, or DVDs your partner might enjoy on their own. Have it gift wrapped and sent to their house, with a little note attached that encourages them to think of you whenever they’re playing around all alone. Let them know you’re thinking about them. Plus, the element of surprise adds an extra dimension of sexy that heats everything up even more, ensuring your next reunion will be a busy one.
2. Write a Love Letter
When was the last time you wrote a love letter or a poem for your partner? Trust the power of words and test your writing skills by penning a romantic letter when he’s away. You can send the same via e-mail too. Just ensure that you shower the letter with enough steam to keep things hot! Send him a silly postcard from your town with the message, “Wish you were here…”
3. Try Phone Sex
With the latest technological advances, there’s no way you and your SO aren’t engaging in some kind of phone or video sex while you’re apart.Set the mood for yourself and your partner before you kick off phone sex. Decide on a time when you’re both free from any distractions and then get ready for it. Dim the lights, light a few candles, and maybe even draw yourself a bath to ease into when the time comes. Phone or Skype sex will feel more natural if it’s spontaneous, rather than scheduling it in advance; just make sure you both have a stretch of free time. Start by telling him that you couldn’t stop thinking about him all day, and then describe exactly what you wish he could do to you.
4. Plan a Surprise Visit
Surprise visits are totally acceptable and super fun but make sure you really know their schedule so that you’re not bombarding them. Last-minute visits can be fun, just make sure you know his schedule so that your dropping by won’t interfere with his plans. It’s smart to call a few days beforehand—that way you give him a heads-up, while still maintaining the excitement factor.
5. Set Up Long-Distance Dates
Watch the same movie that you start at the same time and text each other comments throughout, order the same kind of takeout and set up FaceTime on your iPads so that you’re “sitting” at the table together, read the same book and discuss it, have a game of Words With Friends going on your phones, get the same video game and play with phone headsets on to let you talk while you play. It sounds silly but will make you less lonely when you’re apart!
6. Sext, Like a lot
Sex text messages or sext is an exciting way to indulge in some harmless physical pleasure. If he’s been busy all day with work, send him a sext and remind him about the last time you both had a great time in bed. Getting naughty with your spouse has it rewards in future!
7. Create Sexy Email Accounts
First of all, never use your work email for anything related to your sex life, right? Start a Google+ account just for the two of you where you can share daily pics, little love notes, and random musing with each other. t makes for a new, exciting way to communicate with each other, without having to worry about anyone at work accidentally seeing something over your shoulder.
8. Watch a Sexy Film Together
If you have enjoyed Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut alone, then you will love watching it with your partner when he’s away! Rent movies like Killing Me Softly, Basic Instinct et al and tune into them together. Tip: Chat with him during the love-making scenes to keep things hot. Music can amp up the mood in the bedroom on pretty much any occasion, so you might as well employ this tactic when you’re sexing it up from afar. Gather your favorite songs or albums that really put you in the mood and share them with your SO. Ask them to do the same, too.
9. Share Your Feelings
Let your partner know you love and appreciate them. Expressing your feelings regularly helps keep your bond vibrant. When you think this is unnecessary, you’re withholding your love. To keep the flame burning, let your partner know their always desired and missed and let your honey know when you need the same reassurance.
10. Talk About the Little Things
It’s easy to share the big news, but the little things help you stay intimately connected. Tell your partner about what happened with the neighbors or events with friends and family. Share funny tidbits about your work day or an interesting thing that happened while commuting. Call each other before you go to sleep, so you can talk just like you would if you were in bed at the end of the evening.
11. Have Fun With Yourself
Use the time you’re not together to sign up for a photography class, take cooking lessons, or learn to play tennis. Staying busy helps keep your mind off missing him, plus makes you a better, happier person in the long run.
The good thing about long-distance relationships is that you really have a bond. Otherwise, why would you wait around for someone in the first place? So you need to remember to rely on those great communication skills and the connection that brought you together in the first place and helped you decide that air miles weren’t no thing when it came to eternal love.